Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
