I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
