Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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