She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
