the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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