Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize