If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
