we have pet lesbian snakes
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I got her a Nickelback box set.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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