I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize