just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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