Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
