Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
either way he was missing a nipple.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
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