Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
