Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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