we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
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