He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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