Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
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I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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