So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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