oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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