How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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