This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
