I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize