oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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