I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I have already put on my inside pants.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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