And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
