I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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