She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
