her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She made me pour olive oil on her.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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