all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize