hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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