I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
My liver is preforming stress tests.