she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?