Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.