Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.