chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.