Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
