Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I could fuck to npr.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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