i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
