thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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