I feel great
I just peed on a car
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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