Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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