I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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