wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
