I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Can I color on your dick again?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
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I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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