ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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