Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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