WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
