I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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