I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
you had me at cake vodka
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
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