As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
where are my eyebrows?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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