3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
