Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
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You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
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I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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