I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
