what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Randomize
