how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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