My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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