im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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