It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
