You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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