You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
