she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
