well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
