you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So much rum. So many feels.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Randomize
